Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thank you...

...for the hard times.

This past Thanksgiving I was reading blogs of folks that I follow pretty regularly and boy, oh boy was the Lord planting seeds in my heart. So today I am going to tell you a little bit about my struggle over the past few days.

Thursday evening I was sitting drinking coffee trying to have a few quite moments after a long busy day and read. Read about others and what they were thankful for this year. This past year for me has been a struggle in many ways. The biggest struggle I have faced is the split in a church that I loved dearly. This was my home, my family, my safety and my comfort zone. I could go there and always feel safe. Well... as I was reading one of my favorite blogs by Kelley she said something that made me say Wow! She said, "I'll trade a building and its conveniences for a closer walk with Him any day of the week." Have you ever had one of those light bulb moments when things seem a little clearer? The statement brought tears to my eyes.

I went on to read another favorite blog by Kendra and her blog sent me to a Blog called "Bring the Rain" I know that you are thinking all she does is read blogs. Well...some days you're correct. Today the Lord was using my obsession for his will. In this blog the lady that was writing it talked about the loss of her child. She had come to a point where she could see that every bad thing that happens could be used to glorify God. She asked the readers to post things they were thankful for...not your everyday things, things that were probably not so pleasant in your life but you knew that the Lord had used them for His glory.

By this time God was speaking to me very loudly. I was in tears not only because of the touching story that I had just read but because I had been struggling so long with this pain. I knew what He was wanting me to do but I just didn't think that I could do it. How could I thank Him for all of the sadness that I had experienced since July? How could I thank Him for all of the sadness that I had seen in my girls faces over their lives being turned upside down? How? How I kept saying to myself? Well, I sat there and read several hundred replies. I guess I was stalling. The more I read the more good things I found myself saying about the split. God had provided a place to worship, four wonderful loving pastors, new friends, old friends, bible studies, and a new desire to learn all I could about God. I was smiling about something that has been weighing so heavy on my heart. God can take something that is so terrible (or at least something we think is so terrible) and do something absolutely amazing with it.

I clicked the little box that said add comment. I started typing God thank you for splitting my church... I never thought the words "thank you" would of come out of my mouth about this subject. I have been learning that everything is not about me, me, me! It is all about Him, Him, Him! All this time I was thinking about me and my pain and I couldn't see past the tears and anger. God is going to use both of the churches for his glory! Why? That is not for me to ask or be concerned with. God is in control and He has a plan. AMEN! I pray for PBF and for THBC to grow and thrive and to bring glory to His name. AMEN!!

I think I will always look at dificulties in a different way. Not that I will enjoy them but I will know that everything works for the glory of God. Give thanks for your difficulties today. God is so Good.

1 comment:

Kendra Lee said...

Angie's post and the following comments were amazing, gut-wrenching and powerful! When we can truly "count it all joy" we know GOD is working in our hearts. I have lived through church splits (one started my husband's 1ST day in the ministry... (nothing to do with him...). It is a hard and emotional time, but God is using people from both "sides" of the split still for His glory and His kingdom. Hard to see at the time, but now (almost 7 years later) we can see better. Since then, that church has not been without conflict and we have experienced conflict in other areas of ministry as well. I guess it's a part of life (with humans involved) but still trust that He has it all under control!! God bless!