Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Do you ever wonder?

Why God?

Do you ever just sit down and ask God Why? This morning as I woke up I had so many why questions running through my head. It was overwhelming. My heart feels heavy and very burdened. I know that I am not suppose to question God but today that little person in my head is working overtime. I would get something started and the next thing I know I am just sitting. Sitting in my recliner, at my kitchen table, on my bed and now at my desk wondering and asking God what the past year has been for...And what I can do with all of these emotions to make myself productive for Him. I know that God always has a plan but today I am not seeing it clearly. The key word is I...I am not seeing it clearly. I am probably like most of you out there a woman that feels like she has to take care of everyone else and leaves her feelings until last. Whether that is good or not that is just how I do it.

Over the past couple of weeks God has been giving me little tid bits of information and this morning they all fell in place. God is so Good. He has let me down onto a cushion that has protected my fall. (no broken bones just a lot of bruises) He has let me down easy I guess because He knew I couldn't stand it all at once. But now my question is why? Has my church not already endured enough? Have my family and friends not been through all they can stand? Have you ever heard the statement, "I came through that situation much stronger." Well maybe this is the reason.

As painful as the past couple of weeks have been maybe God is preparing us for the mission field in the town that we have been planted. I have never felt like where we are is a mistake. I know that there are a lot of people in our community that need to know God and have a church home. God is just preparing His people for anything that we may be facing in the future. Just like a great Dad wanting his children to be prepared.

I am sorry for bringing anyone down today. This I guess has been some therapy for me. I just needed a place to vent where I feel comfortable and free to share my thoughts.

I am praying today and in the future for some healing. Once again our hearts are in need of tender loving care and God will take care of that...AMEN!!!!





5 comments:

Kendra Lee said...

Yes, I do ask why... sometime often :-). It's ok to ask why, even if we won't get the answers. Just hold tight to the truth that He is sovereign and in control, and that may be all the answer we get... It's always hard in the midst, but I draw strength from looking back and being able to see how and why He worked some things like He did... and His ways have always been best. Hang in there! Don't know what you're struggling with, but He does and there will be a day that you'll either be stronger for it, and/or be able to see what He was up to. HUGS!!

Kelley said...

Girlfriend, I read your post earlier today but wanted to ponder before I replied. I don't have much to offer but He does and I wanted to share some verses with you.

Psalm 30:5 - Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

If you think back over your life, those times that were so hard...at the time, they seemed overwhelming and perhaps like you couldn't see past them but when you look back, in the scheme of things, He carried you through and they were just a hiccup in life. We will rejoice!!!

Psalm 48:14 - For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.

He is the same - yesterday, today and forever. He will NEVER leave us.

Isaiah 40:18-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 49:14-16
But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me." "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

and a favorite that He brought to my attention a couple of weeks ago to send to Paula.....

Isaiah 54:10
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

I love you,
Kelley

Liz said...

I love your blog. You are so much like me. I vent on my blog too, it's really great medicine for me to get my venting out, and then not lash out to my family. Keep posting your true feelings.... as a mother I can so relate. Happy New year! Liz

Liz said...

PS...I added you to my blog list on my blog...hope that's ok.

Sara said...

I stumbled on your blog today and was blessed! Thank you for sharing honestly. As Christian women, I think sometimes we don't think it's okay to feel sad or to wonder why God is doing what He's doing.

But then I think about my own kids...when they ask "why?" I get to explain and when they feel sad I get to comfort them.

May you feel the presence of God in an extra special way today and into 2009.